How embracing the power of learning to say “no” could transform your work-life balance

In today’s busy modern world, life can feel non-stop. Your boss wants that report written yesterday, your child needs a lift to school…even the dog’s begging you for a walk.

If you stumble from day to day feeling stressed and exhausted, you’re not alone. In fact, we’re conditioned to please others – to say “yes” when our mind, body, and soul are screaming “no!”.

Yet, constantly taking too much on could lead to physical and mental health issues that limit your productivity and make it harder for you to enjoy life.

If any of the above strikes a chord with you, it might be time to start being “selectively selfish”. This means learning to say no and putting your needs first sometimes.

The power of saying “no!”

If you’re a people pleaser, this tiny two-letter word might cause you a lot of problems.

Won’t you be letting your friend or colleague down if you say no to them? Will they think less of you? Might they be reluctant to help you when you need it?

While it’s natural to have these concerns, mastering the art of saying no can be an amazing superpower that:

• Blasts unnecessary stress and banishes burnout – Strike all those non-essentials off your to-do list and focus on what counts. Having fewer plates to spin could lead to a less stressed, more zen you.
• Helps you understand what’s important – If you’re going to stop saying yes to everything, you’ll need to prioritise. This could help you reevaluate what truly matters and create the work-life balance you’ve always wanted.
• Supercharges your self-confidence – Learning to say no can be incredibly empowering. When you take control of your most precious resources – your time and energy – there’s a good chance you’ll experience a surge in self-confidence.
• Enhances your relationships – Believe it or not, saying no to your friends, family, and colleagues, can lead to more fulfilling and healthy relationships. Setting clear boundaries can build respect, reduce resentment, and lead to better communication.

So, how do you do it? 3 top tips for saying no

So, now you’re sold on the awesome power of saying no, how do you approach it?

1. Take your time

Learning to say no isn’t about saying no to everything – that would mean missing out on a lot of fantastic experiences!

Prioritisation is the key. You’ll need to carefully weigh up the pros and cons of each opportunity or request.

The Eisenhower Box, named after President Eisenhower, is a simple, yet super handy tool for deciding when to jump in and when to say, “no thank you”.

Try fitting any tasks that come up into this grid:

If something crops up that’s both urgent and important, bump it to the top of your agenda. If it’s not important and not urgent, it’s a no.

Of course, this doesn’t have to mean it’s a no forever. But this approach could help you prioritise tasks in the here and now.

Remember, it’s up to you to decide what’s a priority. So, if taking half an hour out with a book and a cuppa feels like urgent and important self-care, it gets a resounding yes!

2. Say no without saying no

Ex-hostage negotiator Chris Voss describes “mirroring” as one of the most powerful negotiation techniques.

It could buy you time to think, while also encouraging the other person to share the extra information you need to decide on your response.

It might work something like this.

Your boss: Can you please upload all the client files for your accounts ahead of tomorrow’s meeting?

You: All the client files?

Mirroring in this way encourages your boss to provide extra detail and context that could help you negotiate with them.

3. Give a reason for saying no

You don’t need to justify yourself. It’s up to you how you prioritise your time.

But, giving a brief explanation for why you’re saying no, can help the other person understand where you’re coming from. As such, they’re less likely to take your response personally. So, your relationship can remain intact.

Try to speak with confidence and conviction, and don’t be afraid to be honest.

You might be surprised how well most people take a “no” – if you master the art of saying it well.

Get in touch

If you’re a master at prioritising your time and have your own tips on how to say no, we’d love to hear them!

Hit us up in our inbox at hello@melo.co.uk or have a chat with us on 0113 4656 111.